you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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