quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Randomize
