Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
