Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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