i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
