Those balls look pretty dangerous.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
