i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
