Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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