Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
