He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
