You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
