It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
should my penis look like a turkey
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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