my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
