my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
