you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
