So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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