We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
