My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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