Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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