i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
