i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
