So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She even gives head with a lisp.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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