i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
