I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
