u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
...so i touched it.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
