Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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