it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
