onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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