last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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