the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
