i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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