So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
No I am not eating basil off your cock
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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