Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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