are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
