You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
