its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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