Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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