is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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