insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
