Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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