i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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