____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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