okay pat passed out under dana's car
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
