I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
