i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
