trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
