Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
