guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
This is my life. Enjoy the view
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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