As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
