You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
