Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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