Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
