so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
