who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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